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No pain, no gain for this Newser »

When I woke up this morning, I thought I must have dreamed that the Spanish Inquisition visited my house last night, because I was in a world of hurt when I got out of bed. My hamstrings felt like I had been put on the rack and my shoulders and upper chest were so sore I could barely brush my teeth. Even my hair hurt.

And then I remembered: I had my first workout with fabulous personal trainer Becky Wenner yesterday.

Sure, Becky seems like a very nice person, but I suspect she is a spy sent over by the Evil Post to torture Daily News reporters and editors.

That’s the only explanation, because I couldn’t be that out of shape, could I? Is it possible that my old beer and TV workout regime wasn’t the greatest thing for my health?

Becky’s routines are a lot different from the 30-minutes on a stationary bike/30 minutes of lifting weights I used to do, and that’s just what I need. She’s very creative and she has me doing exercises that that get my heart and lungs pumping while they build muscle. I’m sore, but that just means I’m working body parts that needed working. No pain, no gain, right?

Chucky Cheese Gardella is demanding a correction. According to Chuck, he has read Kant, Descartes, Camus, Dr. Seuss, Archie comics, Mike Lupica and Freud, but he’s never read Goethe, as I claimed in an earlier post. My bad.

I’d like to thank supertrainer Brian McNamee, who worked out with Chuck this morning. When I got to the office and said “Good morning,” smack-talking Chuck was so wiped out he could barely speak. After all these years, somebody has finally figured out a way to shut him up.

- Michael O’Keeffe

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